Wonderweiss Big Day
by Moonlight Ace
Summary: Tousen tries to teach Wonderweiss some new words, but ends up learning them from a new friend. Slight naruto crossover


Fat and docile, big and Dumb. They look so stupid, they aren't much fun.

Cows aren't fun.

* * *

Wonderweiss's Big Day!

"Awohoaowoah," said Wonderweiss, lolloping after Tousen like a lost puppy. He walked through the door of his room, Wonderweiss close behind him.

"Okay Wonderweiss, today I'm going to teach you the alphabet," said Tousen, throwing back his long braided hair. "You just repeat after me, okay?"

"Awohoaowoah," replied Wonderweiss absently, scratching his ear with his foot.

"A," said Tousen, very clearly.

"Awohoaowoah" said Wonderweiss, looking very pleased with himself. Tousen sweat dropped.

"B."

"Awohoaowoah."

"C."

"Awohoaowoah."

"D."

"Awohoaowoah."

"Maybe we should continue this another day, okay?" said Tousen, his sweat drop now the size of his Bankai. Tousen left the room to get a coffee, leaving Wonderweiss on his own for a bit. Wonderweiss looked at the kanji alphabet that Tousen had left him, shaping letters on his tongue.

"Daddy," shouted Wonderweiss, his voice echoing through the halls of Las Noches. Tousen ran back into the room, panting hard with disbelief dancing across his face.

"What did you say, Wonderweiss?" breathed Tousen, his heart racing at the thought that Wonderweiss had actually said something that could be made out.

"Awohoaowoah," groaned Wonderweiss, drooling on the floor.

"Okay, false alarm," said Tousen, walking over to Wonderweiss. "Tomorrow my friend will be coming over, so let's all get a good night sleep," said Tousen, leading him through the hall, fellow Arrancar pausing to look at the "special" Arrancar among them. Tousen took him to his quarters, and then departed after bidding Wonderweiss a good night.

x

"Hello Tousen, it's been a long time, hasn't it?" said the man at the door. He wore a long black robe, decorated with swirling red clouds, and a pair of strange red eyes.

"Yes, it has been a long time, Itachi-san," replied Tousen, inviting Itachi in who pulled behind him a boy on a leash.

"Tobi good boy!" yelled the boy happily, attacking an innocent vase randomly.

"SHUT UP AND DON"T TOUCH ANYTHING!" roared Itachi. Tobi sat down on the floor, put his head between his knees, and began to rock back and forth.

"If you don't stop that right now Tobi, I'll bring out the hose!" said Itachi, threateningly. Tobi quickly stood up, his mood returning to that of a hyperactive little kid.

"Tobi, I'd like you to meet Wonderweiss," said Tousen, gesturing to Wonderweiss.

"Awohoaowoah," said Wonderweiss, in greeting.

"Tobi good boy!" replied Tobi, in the same manner.

"Awohoaowoah."

"Tobi good boy."

"Awohoaowoah."

"Tobi good boy."

"Awohoaowoah."

"Tobi good boy."

"Awohoaowoah."

"Tobi good boy."

Itachi and Tousen both sweat dropped, and decided that it would be safest if they were to come back later. Tousen introduced Itachi to Aizen and Gin, then the Espada. After three hours of all of them hanging out with Ulqiorra, blankly stating that everything was trash, they decided to go pick up Tobi and Wonderweiss.

"Hey, sorry we took so lon… oh my god." whispered Tousen. Itachi looked around him and his mouth fell open. Tobi and Wonderweiss were both standing in the exact same position as before, both of them still repeating the same words.

x

"Thanks for inviting me, Tousen-kun," thanked Itachi, departing with an excitable Tobi.

"Thank you for giving Wonderweiss a new friend, Itachi-san," replied Tousen, waving at a cactus. Sometimes being blind can be a bit annoying.

"So Tobi, what do you think of your new friend?" asked Itachi, walking across the barren desert.

"Awohoaowoah," moaned Tobi, starting to drool. Itachi stopped in his tracks, thinking.

_Maybe this is a good thing,_ he thought. _It can't be any more annoying than…_

"Tobi good awohoaowoah," screeched Tobi happily.

"OH CRAP, HE'S EVEN MORE ANNOYING THAN BEFORE!" screamed Itachi, frantically backing away. "RUN AWAY!" And with that, Itachi began running as fast as he could, a hyper Tobi hot on his trail.

x

"So Wonderweiss, did you have a good time today?" asked Tousen, walking along the corridor with Wonderweiss.

"Wonderweiss good boy!" A long silence followed this statement. Then…

"YOU SAID _WHAT_ WONDERWEISS?!"

* * *

Tobi good boy, Tobi leave review. Now Tobi eat review.

Seriously people, if you don't review my stories i'll be killed by cows with guns. They fight for bovine freedom


End file.
